bees in the boobs

i was in big south fork on the ky/tn border, just joy riding. primitive camping back in the same spot the bear decided he liked my tent a lot. it was 10-20 miles to the better campground, showers and the rangers didn't mind, so i'd cut all around these hilly twisty turny roads. the 20 days of rain was over and i finally had some spring sun and deep fresh air, so i had nothing but a smile on my face. you learn not to smile too big or you are going to swallow something coming at you fast on a motorcycle. usually about the size of a fly and really hard to do both at once sometimes.

it's spring obviously and everything is blooming. it was a gorgeous place to be at a fantastic time. i saw the bees coming. nothing i could do. two, i figured mating, probably more true- fighting bees. locked together and i was flying right into their space. down the tube, right into my left boob. who would have thought those sports bras let so much in? i felt the first sting and practically locked my brakes. let the bike fall over and off comes everything from the waste up. on the road. one swoop. fucking bastard locals really enjoyed that. like three passed real slow, all men, cat calling. i had no time to care. stung twice by now and screaming in madness. i'm sure i don't know what i looked like. it must have been fun. ranger passes me. almost stops. i think the boobs confused him. bike's laying down at the side of the road and i'm still trying to hop over it, dancing my top off, beating the ground with my top. forgetting they only have one stinger a piece and they are both implanted in me. i was going to kill those things if i could. it was just a few moments of pure spontaneous pissed off madness. i looked up in time to see the ranger driving away, his eyes watching me in the mirror. that's when i burst into now crazy laughter, and yeah, i'm sure i look certifiable. good thing i had taken everything off the bike. it was bare, too, so it was easy enough to get back up.