magnificent cedars deep in the heart of texas. just about where the desert has started for real. the last line of real trees for a texas mile or two. well, there’s plains & mountains beyond that. “mountains” to a yankee city girl, this was desert. kept hearing from the locals that this was the worst drought since the dust bowl. clearest from the two 90 year-old cowboys that took me dove hunting. they might actually remember the dust bowl.
so the reservoirs are down 60 feet & i’ve been staying mostly at army corp of engineer campgrounds up through the heart of texas. learned a few lessons after castro, tx- just east of san antonio. stories in & of themselves. there were no leaves on anything anymore. even the deer didn’t move when my motorcycle comes by & i’m gonna jump in about where they came in. they just look at you with UGH! i didn’t bother them, they didn’t bother me. north of waco & georgetown were a little cluster of campgrounds- from primitive to full hook ups, the primitive always being the furthest out or in, depending on how you want to look at it. i had never seen a roadrunner before. just The Roadrunner.
it’s not all the time, but there are extraordinary times when even the most wild animals will come close. running over the armadillo was too close. that happens sometimes, too. i checked in with jesus for a few seconds there. was doing about 70 or 80 in the motorcycle at night. he’s ok & i’m ok. about the fifth time on that trip i thought i bought it. but this one was so cool. i’m out there, deep in & enjoying the hell out of it when i hear an animal get close to my tent night after night, lay down on the other side of the tent from where i lay my head. i had learned my lesson from the bear. no food or even gatorade in the tent- not dusk to dawn, at the very least. this area has snakes, scorpions & shit. this had no qualities like a raccoon. couldn’t be as big as a deer, made no sound except for when it got that close & settling down into sleep. didn’t do anymore than that.
for the first week i had no clue what it was, then one day this funny little interloper is doing a hopping jog across from me as i walk the driveway down to get water. Smooth & Herky Jerky stays on the other side of the road. his nickname changed depending on his visible mood. he was real curious about me, loved looking at me. so i start going out at the same time of the day for water, getting walked to & fro by my new suitor. he was something.
i’d started talking to him & he’d plump up. sometimes i’d talk to him in bed, but not much. he had the stamina & patience of my turkish ex-husband. got flustered easily. he got his attitude too, sometimes. like if he caught me out walking at a different time of day. like i’m out trying to pick up another animal. he wouldn’t look at me. he’d just prance a few feet to my right, going the direction i was going, but he wasn’t talking to me right now. look the opposite direction only. i stayed in this campground, melting into the ground, just because i was enjoying this so much. the mountain lion kept me for awhile, too- different campground. three weeks i tried to get a picture of her catching her bird in a tree every damn day. every day i failed. no shade. but every day i saw it. every night she sat on the top of the hill & watch me.
i thought i had the flu, too. apparently, the only thing in nature i’m allergic to is the texas cedars. lady at the gate just laughed at me & handed me a claritin. fixed that shit right up. there was a small family that were camp hosts to a completely empty campground, except me. so i’d go over every few days & shoot the shit. they were right behind the bathrooms anyway. three cute kids that perked right up hearing about my roadrunner. and damn, if he wasn’t right on time, too. peeking at me from behind the bathrooms like a jealous lover. wouldn’t come over & say hi. nothing. but he did enjoy the kid’s ooo’s & ahhh’s. came out from behind the bathrooms & showed off his plumage. just for a minute. had to let me know he was pissed. guess i wasn’t paying enough attention. i don’t know- he didn’t say. i can only laugh at this shit. i divorced this, happily. still, he had the plumage & he knew it. gotta love it.
the only picture i got of him was blurry feathers as i pointed the camera out of the mesh of the tent in the middle of the night with the flash on. i deleted it thinking i’d definitely get a better one. i never did. the opportunity really just wasn’t there. he shied away from my camera, so i didn’t push it. and it just seems like hell is only getting hotter. i take the bike out just to get some air moving on me. gotta go eat well, at least. no breeze. even swimming in the reservoirs was not helping. i had one of those off-days. i didn’t get moving before it topped 113. felt like it was hardly ever below it. i left the flap open. reading on my kindle. had all my little things within my reach. hot, but a pleasant day listening to nature, reading Dickens. the Master of the Tangent.
out of fucking nowhere this damn bird bolts through my tent flap, hits the back of the two person tent & spazzes out. heads right for me. i was still getting to a sitting position, thinking -damn, my camera is on the other side of this bird, when he turns on me full tilt. only had a foot between us, so i didn’t really have a second when he took a full running leap into me. i’m sure i only registered shock. i don’t know how that tent stayed standing, given how bad it got. all i could do is cover my head for the first, seemingly, minutes. i’m getting battered, feathers are going everywhere. claws are going all over me. by the time i got scratched and fucking pecked a few times, i decided to do something about it. not for the first time on this trip did i think i could die from this. i could see the tiny paragraph in the local paper that says they found a dead girl in a tent with a bunch of feathers. no other clue was available.
i start fighting like a girl, just flailing my arms. maybe he’ll find the door. it’s only ¼ of the tent. if you found you’re way in, ya know? but no, we were both getting more & more freaked out. i finally got a hold of his neck. both hands. i didn’t want to kill him, but i didn’t want to die, either, and this was starting to hurt. i remember that exact moment when i felt like i was in a cartoon, and i got a childhood idol’s neck in my hands. oh, hell no! i tossed him hard out of the tent. i took a few deep breaths, feathers falling lightly all around me before i yelled -and stay out! i became my mother, yet again.
well, the romance was gone. he did not sleep with me anymore. if i saw him on the road, he wouldn’t only be across from me- he’d have to be 10 feet forward or behind. just like my fucken turkish ex. poor thing, though. i apologized a thousand ways, even though it wasn’t all my fault. he’d still make sure i got to the bathroom alright. a true gentleman. i jerry-rigged the spigot outside to keep a drip going that day. scorpions all around those rocks. i was still cursing him, though. my boy could be seen to be getting a drink there, as could the local union of deer & whatnot. should have thought of that before. might have saved me from having to figure out What the Hell the hard way.
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